My Toolbox – Generational


“Though my parents were not alcoholics, many family members on both sides were/are. I experienced a lot of similar confusing situations to actively alcoholic families and have benefitted in my life from recovery literature. When I read your website (having already met you briefly) it spoke to me and it would have whether it mentioned family alcoholism or not. The parts that sparked for me were ‘compassion,’ ‘humor,’ ‘move past blocks,’ ‘more authentic and courageous,’ and ‘make a difference in the world.’”   –JK

Think about your mother, grandmother and even great grandmother.  How effective were they about setting boundaries, expressing viewpoints, or asking for what they wanted?

If you aren’t sure, guess.  If they needed to speak up about something, how did they do it?  Hold it in until it explodes?  Say nothing but be resentful?  Sigh a lot? (smile!).  How empowered do you think they felt? How respected?

Even though our culture has moved on in many ways from stereotypes about women, we can still feel reverberations of invisibility, frustration, or lack of respect that our mothers and grandmothers felt.  These patterns can show up seemingly from out of nowhere.  They feel familiar, and they may not even be yours.

For generations, women depended upon their husbands for economic survival, which made “speaking up” more like a life-threatening act of bravery than something we do for our mental and emotional health.  When alcoholism or violence occurs in a family tree, it can exacerbate feelings of insecurity, low self-worth, and a sense of isolation.

We know from research in the field of epigenetics that we can inherit emotions, our stress response, belief systems, and behavior patterns through markers on the DNA passed down from previous generations.

The good news is that these patterns can be shifted. With techniques drawn from many difference sources–including EFT, Matrix, writing, coaching and accountability, we can create new neural pathways, drawing energy into different parts of the brain.  We begin to repair our broken trust, heal relationships, and rebuild (or create for the first time) an inner source of strength, grounding, and love.